Who is I in love with?

It's funny how different people think I is in love with different people.

For instance, A seems to think that I is in love with J, J seems to think that I is in love with M, M knows that I is in love with M but has doubts about A and J. D thinks that I is hallucinating and is in love with Æ who's an entity of I's imagination. N is under the false impression that I is in love with A. N also cautions I that I might fall crazily in love with any pretty letter if given a chance and most certainly enslave and screw I-self up!

I? I thinks. I thinks a lot. I thinks that I is in love with M but isn't quite sure who M is. Moreover, I also jumps in and out of love with M, so, I is pretty much confused about M. I is affected by certain other letters too but is quite sure that it's not in love. I also fancies many other pretty letters and is ever ready to fall in love all over again. But can I love another after M? I doesn't know. M makes I think.

Given the amount of confusion that this bloody love has caused, I is sure about one thing. I hates love.

A li'l.

...

All the letters above might be a reference to someone real. If it's Ur initials, then it might be U. Given the confusion that love has created, the accuracy of this account is doubtful. Reader discretion advised.