In and Out of Love

Studying

2012-02-02T18:55:00.002+05:30

These days, studying has become the easiest thing to do, a convenient resort, and the only option.

So long.

2012-02-02T17:55:00.000+05:30

There's only so long one can carry on with a raging craze within.

Shhhh....

2012-01-10T15:31:00.002+05:30

Alan: 'So that's your big secret - Alcohol?! Isn't that just a temporary solution?'

Charlie: 'It's only temporary if you stop drinking!'

(Two and a Half Men S03E10)

Happy New Beer!

2012-01-01T01:10:00.001+05:30

The Chenin tastes not the same as the Sauvignon to the trained tongue. As for the untrained, it just wants to get drunk. So go get me my beer and for you a happy new year!

2011-10-27T20:49:00.000+05:30

across the dull creek
a million stories unfold,
as flickering lights.

There is a Light that never goes out.

2011-10-26T21:15:00.006+05:30

As my social and ritual life has moved on from it's yesteryear ceremonial glory to earthly professional normalcy, and as grand festivities continue to awkwardly make themselves felt by their absence, it was an usual, adequately well-spent day lit up by two simple oil lamps quietly adorning the doorway. That flickering light is all one needs, to see, to travel miles into the unknown, and to come back home.

May the Light bless you and me with the strength to seek it!

दिवाळीच्या हार्दिक शुभेच्छा!

2011-10-16T13:40:00.003+05:30

the red etch'd in love
now bleeds, as a poppy gash'd.
intoxicated.

A Marriage Made in Heaven

2011-10-10T19:47:00.005+05:30

I: Your age?

Pt: 35yrs.

I: When were you married?

Pt: *smiles shyly* Umm.. It was long ago, I don't exactly remember...

I: Ahem.. It was you who got married, wasn't it?

Pt: *smiles embarrassedly* Yes, yes.

I: Well, maybe you remember how many years ago, approximately? Kindly try to remember?

Pt: Ummm.. Must've been around 40yrs ago, I guess?

The Hallowed Corridor

2011-10-06T21:19:00.009+05:30

On this day, five years ago I sat on the bench outside the dean's office, gazing wide-eyed, for the very first time, into the hallowed arcade that seemed to stretch on endlessly, with it's magnificent stone arches scheming an a-b-a-b rhyme with the sunlight streaming between their pillars. I was looking down a path which seemed beautiful but also, at that time, very strange and with no end in sight, a bit intimidating - a lot like the journey I was about to commence with my enrolment at GSMC. I was flooded with thoughts of awe, uncertainty, fear, curiosity and excitement. I sat there waiting for the paperwork to be done, thinking about many things, but I could hardly wait to walk down that archway to discover what lay beyond!

Since then, over the past five years, I've walked and I've kept walking down that long archway countless times and I've discovered not only further into the beyond but also further within. I have transformed and grown, enabled to transform a li'l the world around me, and so has the college building transformed quite a bit post-renovation. Nevertheless, even after all these years and countless walks, those stone arches and pillars continue to leave me awestruck with their beauty, everyday, just like they did the first time.

psst.. Back then, I guess, there used to be a blood-sample collection facility at the other end of that archway. Funnily, five years hence that's where one ends up, isn't it? ;)

I guess I could be pretty pissed off...

2011-10-02T15:46:00.005+05:30

"I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me, but it's hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much. My heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst. And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it. And then it flows through me like rain, and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid, little life. You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry. You will someday."

Lester Burnham, American Beauty

A love that once was.

2011-10-01T23:14:00.009+05:30

"nal ba la bwah niga sarang het dun na reul
nal ba la bwah nuh reul sarang het dun na reul"

(look at me, the one that you once loved
look at me, the one that once loved you)

Swing - Lee Hyori
The full lyrics with translation

Related -"We'll never know" & "The train leaves by 8".

The Baby Factory

2011-09-15T13:38:00.004+05:30

They scream and shout.
Then a baby come out.

...till the petals fall.

2011-07-31T03:30:00.008+05:30

You always hurt the one you love
The one you shouldn't hurt at all
You always take the sweetest rose
And crush it till the petals fall

You always break the kindest heart
With a hasty word you can't recall, so
If I broke your heart last night
It's because I love you most of all

...and that magical scene from Blue Valentine that never once fails to enchant me with all it's brilliance.

Wonderful Life

2011-07-26T00:38:00.003+05:30

Driving through the city to the Temple Station
Cries into the leather seat
And Susie knows that baby was a family man
But the world has got him down on his knees

So she throws him at the wall and kisses burn like fire
And suddenly he starts to believe
He takes her in his arms and he doesn't know why
But he thinks that he begins to see

Wonderful Life by Hurts

To the man who loved!

2011-07-18T23:20:00.001+05:30

'Albus Severus, you were named for two headmasters of Hogwarts. One of them was a Slytherin and he was probably the bravest man I ever knew.'

Harry Potter to Albus Severus Potter

2011-07-08T17:24:00.002+05:30

Unsettled doth lie,
as a puddle
in a monsoon shower

I loved,

2011-07-06T21:17:00.004+05:30

and I loved once.

Art

2011-06-29T20:10:00.001+05:30

"Art is individualism, and individualism is a disturbing and disintegrating force. There lies its immense value. For what it seeks is to disturb monotony of type, slavery of custom, tyranny of habit, and the reduction of man to the level of a machine."

Oscar Wilde

The Wall

2011-06-27T19:26:00.000+05:30

All in all we're just another post on the wall.

Cats...

2011-06-06T13:56:00.001+05:30

...are sent from heaven to make the world a cuter place.

It is fine, actually.

2011-05-27T00:38:00.004+05:30

Life does go on but Dad, you are missed.

.

It's from him that I inherited the less-painful venepuncture. It reminds me of him every time some patient says, "Doctor, it doesn't hurt as much when you poke a needle." Just like my mum always said how my dad's injections were very light-handed and the least painful. Very compassionate and kind he always was with his patients and I'm glad to have inherited that quality from him. Cheers to his life!

.

From the motion picture 'Rabbit Hole'

Becca: Does it ever go away?
Nat: No, I don't think it does. Not for me, it hasn't - has gone on for eleven years. But it changes though.
Becca: How?
Nat: I don't know... the weight of it, I guess. At some point, it becomes bearable. It turns into something that you can crawl out from under and... carry around like a brick in your pocket. And you... you even forget it, for a while. But then you reach in for whatever reason and - there it is. Oh right, that. Which could be awful - not all the time. It's kinda...
[deep breath]
Nat: not that you'd like it exactly, but it's what you've got instead of your son. So, you carry it around. And uh... it doesn't go away. Which is...
Becca: Which is what?
Nat: Fine, actually.

My first rupees earned!

2011-05-09T16:36:00.001+05:30

So, this is where I start from - Rs 4980 for 2 months of referring patients, rewriting prescriptions, filling up forms and drawing blood samples.

The first few thousands on the journey to millions. ;)

Cheers!

The moon looks splendid tonight.

2011-03-19T22:34:00.006+05:30

Through your eyes, I'm sure it must look even lovelier!

The thought of settling...

2011-03-19T14:30:00.001+05:30

...is bloody unsettling.

Punch

2011-03-16T18:59:00.003+05:30

Pretty residents who're so sweet and helpful make internship so much more worthwhile.

I so badly wished for more biopsies today!

Ehh...

2011-03-15T20:44:00.001+05:30

I - "Ma'am, there was a huge rush of people here and I do remember drawing her blood but... umm.. I dunno where it is now?"

P - "But what the heck do we tell the patient?!!"

You know what the three most exciting sounds in the world are?

2011-03-07T21:58:00.006+05:30

Anchor chains, plane motors and train whistles.

-George Bailey in 'It's a Wonderful Life'

Eyes

2011-03-07T00:33:00.001+05:30

the rustle drowned
in sunlight
gleaming through the autumn leaves

2011-03-06T14:42:00.004+05:30

A crumpled blank paper
An eager quill, and red ink
Yours truly

But

2011-03-03T13:33:00.005+05:30

"I hate you!"

"Why?"

"Won't tell. Well.. Because you're good."

"Then, love me you idiot! Don't hate me."

"Yeah, but it has another clause. You're good but... Anyway, forget it."

"Oh, yes. I know what you want to say. Tumhare but I understand."

"Tumhare but?"

"Hmm, when you say you're good but..."

"Hmm.."

"That 'but'."

"Yes, that 'but'."

Now that final MBBS is done...

2011-02-28T23:13:00.000+05:30

what the fuck next?!

The Wanderlust

2011-02-17T00:14:00.000+05:30

"I travel not to go anywhere, but to just go. I travel for travel's sake. The great affair is to move."

Robert Louis Stevenson

How I survived the zombie invasion on Valentine's Day.

2011-02-15T13:11:00.003+05:30

1. Loved Vicky Cristina Barcelona again. Gave up watching the BAFTA awards mid way. Wished missus a happy Valentine's.
2. Nitpicked Ale's photos but couldn't help admiring her lovely brown 'eye's for photography.
3. Waited for the zombies to invade, but there wasn't any sign of them.
4. Learnt the basics of technical analysis of financial markets.
5. Went out for a walk alone.
6. Spotted a bus to another part of town, hopped onto it without a thought, listened to conversations on the way and thought about the lives of all those different people living in this city, ate dinner at a streetside stall, returned home standing at the footboard of four different suburban trains.

When I was young there was a radio station that played that sound.

2011-02-10T08:44:00.000+05:30

The sound of the sea.

Mindfuck me...

2011-02-09T19:15:00.000+05:30

...harder!

Peace

2011-02-08T15:56:00.004+05:30

There's something about the sound of these waves splashing ashore.

Is there a rhythm? Or is it so chaotically mild that it's peaceful?

It's the same Sun that colours sunsets all over the world.

2011-02-03T06:04:00.015+05:30

It's the same sun that I hate during the Mumbai summers, which lights up my camera in Goa. It's the same sun that warms my back when I walk along the beach, which makes the window sill too hot to touch on the train back home. It's the same sun lingering on after midnight in Svalbard, Norway, which makes for a balmy afternoon on the Côte d'Azur. It's reflected off the snow, dazzling the eyes of mountaineers in the Himalayas and it's reflected off the glass panes of the sky scrapers in Hong Kong and New York.

For the traveller it's the one constant. It does seem to change in mysterious ways in different parts of the world but he knows it's the same. The same sun shining over wherever he calls home, while he is miles away; and when he returns home, it reminds him of his many journeys and the beautiful sights he saw all over. It has been a companion - a travel buddy. He's never the lone backpacker, for the sun is always with him.

As I sit here on this derelict jetty over the shabby creek, watching the sunset over Mumbai with it's long orange reflection over the mucky water, I'm reminded of that beautiful sunset I saw in Goa. I'm reminded of everytime I thought about the sun during the trip. I'm reminded of the many journeys I will make far away from home and the many more beautiful sunset photographs I will make. I'm reminded of it's power to transform both the turquoise sea or a shabby creek into a beautiful sunset so effortlessly seducing me to photograph it.

And I'm reminded of how the same sun that colours beautiful sunsets all over the world, shines in her lovely dark brown golden eyes back home.

Lemony

2011-01-29T12:37:00.000+05:30

Call it rather an aftertaste than a hangover, and it was nothing but pleasantly lemony.

Abby,

2011-01-27T11:17:00.004+05:30

It was lovely talking to you. It was one of those unforgettable conversations, tending to perfection, which I wish could go on for a lifetime. But of course, we had to say goodbye. Now, I don't know if we meet again, but thank you for coming along last night.

When drinking with mum, whether to have the third glass or not is the question.

2011-01-25T10:36:00.002+05:30

and... on bringing the third glass mum said, 'काSSय? काय चाल्लय??'.

Ofullkomlighet | Imperfection

2010-12-14T12:35:00.004+05:30

"Om allt är ofullkomligt i denna ofullkomliga värld, så är kärleken mest fullkomlig i sin fullkomliga ofullkomlighet"

Jöns, Det Sjunde Inseglet

.

"If all is imperfect in this imperfect world, love is the most perfect with it's perfect imperfection."

Jöns, The Seventh Seal

MBBS, I love you!

2010-12-10T17:02:00.002+05:30

... for pushing me to the edge, for making me stronger and teaching me that nothing is impossible.

P.S. That doesn't make you any less of a bitch!

Divali

2010-11-06T01:33:00.002+05:30

Divali, this year, has been more low key than ever. It's been just another day passing by. But the night is as strange as always. This silence after the incessantly noisy festivities haunts me, like it does every year. Though, this year, I don't have the colourful flickering lights to keep me company. They used to be very comforting. This year, I have another ghost to haunt me more than ever. What does this upcoming future have in store. Nevertheless, days go by faster than one imagines and we shall soon meet.

Lots of love and blessings for my all my wonderful friends, family and mum. Peace for dad.

Until soon!

Yumm!

2010-10-23T21:28:00.001+05:30

"There is no love sincerer than the love of food."

George Bernard Shaw

The Stink.

2010-10-21T00:33:00.000+05:30

Ummm.. I just crapped out that relationship we had? You might want to flush it... Or it's gonna stink.

Iridescent

2010-10-19T03:08:00.000+05:30

Do you feel cold and lost in desperation?
You build up hope, but failures all you've known.
Remember all the sadness and frustration
And let it go.
Let it go.

\LinkinPark/

Natural history of boredom.

2010-10-14T21:43:00.006+05:30

Don't want to be in a relationship.

I'm crazy about you.

In a complicated relationship.

I love you.

It's not enough.

Don't want to be in this relationship.

The Dunning-Kruger Effect

2010-10-14T17:09:00.001+05:30

The Dunning–Kruger effect is a cognitive bias in which an unskilled person makes poor decisions and reaches erroneous conclusions, but their incompetence denies them the metacognitive ability to realize their mistakes. The unskilled therefore suffer from illusory superiority, rating their own ability as above average, much higher than it actually is, while the highly skilled underrate their abilities, suffering from illusory inferiority. This leads to the situation in which less competent people rate their own ability higher than more competent people. It also explains why actual competence may weaken self-confidence: because competent individuals falsely assume that others have an equivalent understanding. "Thus, the miscalibration of the incompetent stems from an error about the self, whereas the miscalibration of the highly competent stems from an error about others."

Source: Wikipedia

Crawling

2010-10-12T13:06:00.000+05:30

"It's easy to fall into that thing — 'poor, poor me', that's where songs like 'Crawling' come from: I can't take myself. But that song is about taking responsibility for your actions. I don't say 'you' at any point. It's about how I'm the reason that I feel this way. There's something inside me that pulls me down."

Chester Bennington, Linkin Park.

sTrapped

2010-10-07T12:00:00.005+05:30

stirred again, the urges surge
rising above the rest
and old demons re-emerge
at his rash behest
their insane impulsive fire
searing from within
burns the serpent of desire
crawling 'neath the skin
scraping it, cutting it
making it bleed
and a monstrous fit
is what a monster needs

starved, bled, weakened
to the bedposts, strapped
the monster left alone
is a monster trapped

Like dams.

2010-10-06T20:58:00.000+05:30

Sometimes, the floodgates have to let go.
Then, we fill again.
And then, we stand strong and still again.

Potential wins?

2010-10-06T20:52:00.000+05:30

Missed opportunities, actually.

...or hugging plastic if you use the phone.

2010-09-12T02:38:00.000+05:30

You got your love online.
You think you're doing fine.
But you're just plugged into the wall.

I do visit the temple and pray to God once in a while...

2010-09-06T10:32:00.002+05:30

...because that's the purpose for which Man created God.

Ambition and Insanity make an insatiably unstable couple.

2010-09-06T00:10:00.005+05:30

Helplessly chained together and murderously making love, to burn the other to ashes with the rabid friction searing them as they push-pull in a frenzy of opposite directions.

We don't need no medical indemnity insurance!

2010-09-05T22:05:00.002+05:30

What we need is life insurance to be resident doctors here. Who knows, the relatives of the patients might just beat us to death.

Inefficient Implosions

2010-08-29T17:10:00.003+05:30

Self-destructing, since 1988. Still alive.

I don't need, I don't need...

2010-08-25T00:51:00.005+05:30

no more phantom love,
to break me up.

I don't need, I don't need...
no more handcuffs,
thank you very much!

Phantom - Josh Powell, Fraser Smith & Kate Smith

Independence is

2010-08-15T17:08:00.003+05:30

eating huge quantities of delicious food at the overcrowded road-side stalls, free from the shackles of hygiene, calories and a budget.

Happy Independence Day, India!

Jumped off the cliff to teach myself to fly.

2010-08-15T03:00:00.000+05:30

Status: flapping, falling, scared.

What went wrong...

2010-07-30T01:25:00.007+05:30

...after that night when we sat on that bench at the bus stop, drenched in the rain and all that love, crazy love? I still remember that night. I still remember those two rusty red ST buses turning into the bus depot, one behind the other. One was brightly lit inside and in the other, the lights were turned off. I stood behind you, my hands on your shoulders as you said, "How about we hop into that bus and run away!". I asked, "Which one you wanna ride?". You didn't need a moment to think before you said, "The one without the lights!". That was the night you told me that you did love me back. The night I had waited for three years. It was the zenith of our love.

I still remember everything. And so do you. But , now, after all these years, you tell me that you always thought I would've forgotten! Oh, why would I forget, darling? You must know that I still remember everything - all of the time we spent at that bus stop. If I were a painter, I could paint it for you!

And today, a question long forgotten, came up again, "but then, what went wrong?" You say that you don't know. You say that you always respected my love and that you're sorry if you hurt me; but, you don't know. I, being self-critical as usual, said, "Oh, maybe it was me. I was stupid to not know how to love you, to not know how to win you."

What went wrong was what almost always goes wrong. The benign romantic poets lose their pretty li'l girls to the aggressive young men. The aggressive young men then make the pretty li'l girls cry, and beat them up before getting rid of them. Both the lonely romantic poets and the bruised li'l girls are then left wondering, "What went wrong? Oh, what went wrong?"

दिमाग बंद. Bharat bandh.

2010-07-05T17:45:00.004+05:30

But why is everyone spelling it bandH? Brains shut down, too?

It's बंद and NOT बंध.

Stop shutting things down people, especially your brains.

Happy Birthday, Mother!

2010-06-25T22:10:00.000+05:30

I am not really liking your growing old; but, a birthday is a birthday! It, being yours, is mine too. Haha! So we have jilebis and butterscotch ice-cream today!
Happy Birthday! I love you!

Jumping off the cliff...

2010-06-08T23:26:00.000+05:30

...to teach myself to fly.

Flashes before your eyes...

2010-06-05T23:25:00.003+05:30

Mum changed the configuration of the furniture in her bedroom today. The bed, it's now back to the way it was in various times in the past. Most notably, sometime in 2004 and in the summer of 2006.

As I lied down on the bed, memories flashed before my eyes. Like pictures of the times I'd seen, lying in the same place, sometime. The room is not exactly the same, but my eyes see flashes of those pictures superimposed onto my vision.Memories, of the times, from years gone by. Some, insignificant...

Some, indelible. Like, the memory of the night I slept besides my father in the bed, for the last time. For some reason, that night I felt like snuggling up to him more cosily than usual. I did not know that he won't be there when I wake up, ever again. Like, the memory of the next 4 nights, when I, don't know how, slept in the cosy bed, not knowing where he was. And like the memory of those few nights following 27th May, when I slept in this bed with my mum to the left, an unused pillow to the right and my arm reaching out into the void.

The bed, it has been moved countless number of times to be placed in different places. It's gonna be this way for some time now. Tonight, I go to bed like I usually do these days. I'll publish this post from my phone. Then, read some book and random tweets and listen to songs.

Now playing - "I got troubles, lord. But, not today. 'Cause they gon' wash away. They gon' wash away..." - Wash Away (Reprise) by Joe Purdy.

Around this time, four years ago, you left us. Missing you today...

2010-05-27T01:28:00.001+05:30

I love you, Father. Thank you for everything.

सगळं जग म्हण्तं, "कर्णा, तुझं जीवन म्हणजे एक लक्तर होतं."

2010-05-17T23:40:00.002+05:30

सांग, सर्वांना गर्जून सांग की तुझं जीवन हे एक लक्तर नव्हतं तर ते जरीकाठाचं एक तलम राजवस्त्र होतं!

Ignorance is such a bliss!

2010-05-04T03:02:00.001+05:30

But I would rather be cut wielding the doubled-edged sword of knowledge than die of a growing tumour of ignorance eating up my brain.

Before Sunrise

2010-05-03T16:31:00.001+05:30

Alone

2010-05-02T19:18:00.001+05:30

"... All alone I seem to break
I have lived the best I can
Does this make me not a man?"

'Alone I Break' by Korn

Bad Connexion

2010-04-27T19:36:00.003+05:30

I would go a thousand miles.
Just to see your face.

You would come within a mile of me.
And leave without a trace.

Wherever you are doesn't really matter.
What matters is that I never know where you were, are or will be.

It just doesn't feel right.
Feels like a bad connexion.

Click.

Mmmmm...

2010-04-06T21:08:00.000+05:30

I <3 Medicine.

Celebrating Gudhi Padva the screwed way...

2010-03-16T12:38:00.004+05:30

...with Mia.

Dunno when it'll get better than this. ;) But for now.. enjoying what I got. The screwed way. :D

It's over.

2010-03-09T15:54:00.004+05:30

"I'm serious. It's over", said Mia.

"I never said it isn't. It is over.", said I.

It's so much more fun now. :D

A Clash of Idiosyncrasies.

2010-03-05T21:54:00.002+05:30

So... I had told you that I'm a dog. I had told you I am crazy. I had also told you that I don't like you at all and I had told you there's no use trying. Also, you always tried the wrong way. Besides, I'm just honest, abnormally honest, that's all. Dog I might be but I believe that I'm a good dog. Except when I'm drunk, but well, I never was drunk around you. I tried to console you lovingly. You said, it would have been easier if I were a jerk.

Now, the people who know you think that I'm a pervert sex-maniac rapist who 'tried to get physical'. And, the people who know me think that you're an over-analytical hung-up madgirl. So, I guess it's only fair. We're even.

Well, I understand... sh*t happens. It happens a lot when it comes to love. It is but a clash of idiosyncrasies.

It's ok.

Love is..

2010-02-28T04:30:00.000+05:30

standing on the bridge overlooking the 'queen's cleavage' and watching the streaks of car-lights zoom below it till the horizon; lost in thoughts of love, say not a word, just smile; feeling good about having your best friends, happily in love, right besides you.

A li'l bit of feel good..

2010-02-17T20:22:00.003+05:30

...goes a long way.

You may find the feel good at the most unexpected places, from the most unexpected persons. You may never see them, again.

However, a li'l bit of feel good does go a long way.

Enjoy it.

How I survived the zombie invasion on Valentine's Day.

2010-02-15T20:08:00.005+05:30

1. I locked myself up with Chicago in the back of an abandoned FedEx truck.
2. I counted (500) Days of Summer, smiled through each of them and laughed at the beginning and the end.
3. I slept. I fantasised. I don't know what led to the other.
4. I wished her a loving loved loveful lovestruck lovedrenched lovekissed lovely love-day.
5. I listened to Carla Bruni singing. Many times over.
6. At the end, I did Chicago, again.

I am not dying without you...

2010-02-10T23:37:00.003+05:30

but the living seems a li'l less complete. I walk down strange, dark alleyways. I'm a vagabond.

4th February 1988

2010-02-04T20:48:00.000+05:30

On your grand 22nd birthday, a million birthday hugs & kisses to you!

x*x*x*x

I love you!

She wrote to me...

2010-01-16T19:00:00.002+05:30

"May Almightys Best Blessings Showered On Your Birthday!
Happy Bithday My Love!!!
It's the best day of my life! :):)
>:**:<
love you! :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dePMU8R131s"

15th January 2010

2010-01-14T23:44:00.001+05:30

That's another 15th Jan coming up in 30mins and I have this feeling, the familiar feeling I experience every year around this time. It's a whole mix of different emotions, feelings, ideas, memories flooding me. Anticipation too. It's a special date. I'm gonna be a year older.

A lot has happened and a lot will happen, as usual. It's a time to just give it all a thought in a different perspective. All that apart, it just feels good. In a weird way. But good it is. All emotional and all eh. Hehe. Yeah.

As for resolutions, this time, I'm resolving to procrastinate procrastination! Been bugging me too long and I've got to do something abt it. Plus, a few other plans too. All regarding being better and all. The usual.. I know.

As for thank you's, I have a lot many thanks for a lot many people.

As for love, this is a great time to say it out loud from the heart that... I love my mum and dad. I love her. I love my friends, a lot! And... I love me. :) And.. I love a few other things, too. A lot!
Having said all that (I kinda like doing this each year), I'll end this post here.

15mins to go.

Work, party, enjoy, live, love!

Learnings

2010-01-13T14:27:00.004+05:30

I was watching this Hindi daily soap last night with my mum during dinner. It's one of the better ones, as of now. There was this scene where the girl is reading her lover boy's letter. Actually, it was a sad scene - something about goodbyes forever. I didn't really listen to the entire letter but a part of it. The part in which the guy talks about how she changed him and all that he learned cause of her. He talks about how he's a changed man now; how he's grown up from being a selfish li'l kid to a loving man; how he has learnt to lie and how he has learnt to go against his own kin; how he has learnt to smother his happiness for others, be selfless and a few more such things. He says that he will always love her for affecting him in such a profound way. Ends it by saying something about not knowing whether he can still sign off by saying 'love you', not being able to lie but having learnt that now and then signing off with a 'bye'.

It was, indeed, just another sad, touching, heart wrenching, Hindi-soapy melodramatic goodbye, which is most probably just temporary - a way they can prolong the happy meeting of the lovers by a few episodes and sadden the hearts of the desperate housewives of the nation before injecting them with love potion (or the hope of it) once again. But, washing away all the lather of this soapy heart laundry, the goodbye was reminiscent of all the learnings of crazy-love-school. I remembered how much one learns from the girl and changes in the process. Lot's of learnings - some good, some bad; some happy, some sad. Cheesy rhyme, I know; I can't actually list all of the lessons here in a single post. I have them stored in my system. Our soapy hero already listed a few, didn't he? By the way, the one about learning to lie made me smile.

So, having talked about all the lessons and a sad goodbye, the important point I'd like to make is - one might or probably will have to say goodbye to a good teacher but let that not stop him from loving her forever after.

What the heck...

2010-01-05T22:52:00.001+05:30

'tis time to be strong!

2010

2010-01-01T20:19:00.000+05:30

Where will it take us?

Last night..

2010-01-01T20:14:00.003+05:30

is best not recollected.

"Please! A li'l is ok.", said she

2009-12-21T21:17:00.004+05:30

and these dreams broken mattered not more than a li'l.
Yes, a li'l is ok. It always is...
In my boulevard of broken dreams.

Eating GEMS and dreaming about...

2009-12-21T20:12:00.002+05:30

leaving on a jet plane...
Well, a jet train most probably. Actually, any train. Any train which takes me 850 miles away from here!

This Secret Affair

2009-12-20T21:02:00.002+05:30

wasn't meant for Ms. Nosy's indulgence!

850 Miles

2009-12-07T23:26:00.006+05:30

You've always been some 850 miles away from me. But since I've known about you I've always felt your presence. It's like you're a part of me, 850 miles within me. You've been the air I breathe, 850 miles around me. And when our li'l accident happened, my mind raced 850 miles in a second, reaching for you and surrounding you to get consumed. By you.

And ever since these rapid lines of contact became my lifelines, everytime your presence ceases to flow through them, to reach me and fill my mind, I feel uneasy. Accustomed to moving at 850miles/sec, I suddenly feel still. I feel still. I feel unusually still, uncomfortably still. Like those 850 miles just snapped and now I don't know where we are nor where I am. I feel afar. I feel like I am 850 miles away from you.

In my religion...

2009-11-22T18:56:00.003+05:30

science is the god and art is the goddess; to know, to think, to do, to create is worship; and love is the highest worship, prayer and sacrifice.

We met by accident.

2009-11-06T01:42:00.000+05:30

The WHO defines accident as an "unpremeditated event resulting in recognisable damage."

Peace of Crap.

2009-10-30T03:02:00.007+05:30

She still looks pretty. She still is a piece of crap.

But more than her, it was a weakness within that was disturbing me. Realised it. Sorted it out. Peace.

Thank god she's pretty.
Too bad she's crappy.

Over and out!

Jenny,

2009-10-21T18:20:00.004+05:30

"I don't know if mama was right or if it's Lieutenant Dan. I don't know if we each have a destiny, or if we're all just floating around accidental-like on a breeze. But I think maybe it's both. Maybe both is happening at the same time. But I miss you, Jenny. If there's anything you need, I won't be far away."

-Forrest Gump

There's a feeling of calmness.

2009-10-18T15:17:00.004+05:30

And after all the agitation that my mind has been getting high on, this feeling of tranquility seems absurdly incredible.

So incredible that my mind is trying hard to convince me that beneath this calmness is a raging storm of undercurrents.

Maybe, being calm in spite of the undercurrents is the trick!

This time every year...

2009-10-17T21:25:00.004+05:30

Boom!
Wheeee...!
Tadtadtadtadtatarattaratatat!
Boom!

Flashing lightbulbs,flickering flames, strong undercurrents of mixed emotions and the nudges of that familiar feeling that haunts me every Divali.

Boom!
Flash! Hmmm..
Enjoying the company of these lights, sounds and emotions with some work to keep me busy.

Schoolmates, fooling around and a few fireworks.

Divali.

enLightened, not yet.

2009-10-15T21:55:00.004+05:30

Divali. Not really big lately. No counting down the days, cleaning or shopping. In love with the lights. Out of love with the fireworks. From anticipation to indifference. Mum and aunt and friends. A few good signs of life. And lights of hope.

She. Beautiful. Decked up as a princess. Surrounded by lights. Lights so bright, she remains unseen. And lights of distant land.

I. Studying, killing time and bored in my room. enLightened, not yet. And the light of a tubelight.

Divali greetings!
Rejoice! For, the light is always with you.

E71

2009-10-12T22:51:00.005+05:30

Amidst the idiosyncracies of a conceited professor and the servility of my colleagues, I worried about you.
I love you. Always.
Touch wood.

Caution!

2009-10-10T20:53:00.001+05:30

Stressed nerves.
May flare up at the slightest provocation.

She is very pretty but...

2009-10-10T08:37:00.001+05:30

she's just a good looking piece of crap.